Blog Archives

God Found the One for Me. ( A Wedding Poem)

I don’t often write poetry, but the muse struck the other night while I was watching T.V. with my wife. The poem below is the end result of what the Lord gave me.  The inspiration I got was that people would somehow make it part of their wedding celebrations. If you find a way to make it part of yours, please email me at ra_crutchfield@yahoo.com and tell me about it. I look forward to hearing about how the Lord’s vision found  a place in your special day.

 

God Found the One for Me.

By Rev. Robert A. Crutchfield, FaithInspires.Org

 

I searched and Searched but did not find.

My days and nights were equally empty

My heart knew you, but we had not met.

God Found the One for Me.

 

People suggested others, but they were not you.

Faint copies were all around me.

None of them came close to being you.

God Found the One for Me.

 

I prayed over and over for my missing half.

I prayed for God to show me his choice for my mate.

I prayed for Him to bring us together at last.

God Found the One for Me.

 

Then finally the moment I prayed for came

From the first instant, it was if I always knew you.

My loneliness and emptiness, died the day we met.

God Found the One for Me.

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DivorceCare Releases New Ebook on How Your Church Can Respond to the Gray Divorce Crisis

WAKE FOREST, N.C., Nov. 18, 2014 /Christian Newswire/ — The divorce rate of those over 50 in America doubled between 1990 and 2010. This startling statistic has led to the rise of what’s commonly called the gray divorce revolution. But a new ebook from DivorceCare describes this trend as the gray divorce crisis, one that’s profoundly impacting your church and community.

In the book, DivorceCare founder Steve Grissom explains what gray divorce is and how your church can respond.

You’ll discover:

  • 8 reasons why gray divorce happens
  • 7 hardships that Baby Boomers face in gray divorce
  • 10 practical tips for ministry you can begin applying right now
  • Strategies for helping young couples avoid gray divorce

Families and churches are significantly impacted by gray divorce:

The couple: Loss of financial security, retirement income, health insurance, family and church support, friends, a home, and possibly even a beloved pet. There are also health implications, chance of depression, heightened stress, and increased chance of harmful behaviors.

Grown children: Couples must deal with shifting relationships with grown children (and grandchildren). Grown children must come to terms with the end of their parents’ relationship; it can impact views of their own marriage.

Churches: Often when there is a divorce, one or both individuals leave their church. This means loss of seasoned leaders and crucial financial support.

“‘Gray Divorce Crisis’ is a much-needed and timely resource,” said DivorceCare president Steve Grissom. “We anticipate the number of those involved in a gray divorce will only swell in the coming years. Churches need to be equipped to minister to these hurting people.”

Download “Gray Divorce Crisis: 10 Ways Your Church Can Respond to the Baby Boomer Divorce Epidemic” right now:

www.graydivorcecrisis.org

If you’re interested in launching a DivorceCare group, visit www.divorcecare.org or call the DivorceCare offices at 800-395-5755.

ABOUT DIVORCECARE
DivorceCare is a weekly video-based series for people who are separated or divorced. The curriculum features over 50 top Christian experts on divorce and recovery topics. More than 14,000 churches worldwide are equipped to offer the DivorceCare program. Learn more at
www.divorcecare.org.

Love Is: A Poem

I know its different from what I usually do, but I thought those here might enjoy one of my first published works. It is a poem called Love Is. It was originally published in Hearts on Fire: A Treasury of Poems on Love, by The American Poetry Society. I forget the exact year, I believe it was 1983.

LOVE IS
By Robert A. Crutchfield

A man for his chosen woman.
A woman for her chosen man.
A child for its loving parent.
Love is a most unpredictable thing.

Sharing is a large part of it
Caring is a large part of it.
Being together is a large part of it.
Love is a most unpredictable thing.

It comes in lots of shapes and sizes.
The bounds of logic it does not heed.
Love’s bond cannot easily be broken.
Love is a most unpredictable thing.

People may study its various episodes.
They can try to interpret its signs.
History’s greatest minds have tries this and failed.
Love is a most unpredictable thing.

 

 

BAD REASONS PEOPLE GET MARRIED

Canterbury Cathedral, The Marriage at Cana in ...

Canterbury Cathedral, The Marriage at Cana in Galilee from window of stories of Jesus’ ministry (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is a traditional Episcopal Church wedding ceremony that I use a lot when marrying couples. I use it so often because I like what it says about the decision to marry. It frames it this way “… in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in fear of God.”

 

Unfortunately too many people in today’s world enter into marriage for bad reasons. The underlying fallacy behind most of these reasons is that neither a wedding or a marriage license can create a marriage where one does not already exist. If the marriage is not already formed in the hearts and minds of the couple, then the wedding is just another meaningless party.

 

But what are the bad reasons people get married ? Let’s look at a few,

 

  1. Our parents ( or friends etc.) want us to.- I can remember back in high school 30+ years ago parents of some of the couples I know would ask them over and over again, “ When are you going to get married ?” I fear some young couples in particular just give in to the pressure. But giving in to the pressure even if you do on some level love each other is not enough to sustain a relationship for a lifetime.
  2. Physical Appearance- There’s definitely a “ cool factor” involved in dating the hottest girl/guy in the class. But appearance changes over time, and not usually for the better. As appearance changes there better be things a lot stronger, and more permanent under-girding the marriage or it will collapse.
  3. Money- Money is all too temporary ! I remember my late mother saying “ If you marry for money it will be the hardest money you ever earned.” Smart lady my mother ! Layoffs happen, baronesses go bankrupt, money goes away. Trying to b uild a marriage based on money is like building a house on quick sand.
  4. We’re pregnant- I’m a firm believer that every child to the greatest extent possible should have two loving, involved parents. In a perfect world these parents should be married. But here on planet real world as I call it you can’t force a marriage where none exists. Now if the couple already has thoughts of marriage, or has even been making plans accelerating things due to a pregnancy could well work. However if marriage never would have come to mind without the pregnancy, its most likely a bad idea.
  5. One of them is moving for a job, or the military- This is a lot like the last one. Marriage is already a matter of starting a whole new life. Moving away from the support of family, learning a new city can be hard under the best of circumstances. Getting married to hold onto a relationship that has not matured is going to put that relationship under stresses it cannot bear !
  6. Fame/Power- Like money fame and power are way too temporary and fragile to sustain a marriage by themselves. Marrying a famous actor, or a powerful politician may seem glamorous. However shows get canceled, elections can be lost sometimes unexpectedly, the what will hold you together ?
  7. All our friends are getting married- Some of your friends may be making a very big mistake. Following their example blindly could lead to a broken heart, and messed up life. With you left to pick up the pieces
  8. We’ve been dating a long time, they must be the one- Just because the two of you have a good time when you go out. Or have been going out for along time does not mean you are in love, or have what it takes to keep that relationship going for the rest of your lives. Its possible you’ve only settled into a comfortable pattern that fits your current lifestyle. What happens when you graduate college or whatever and your lifestyle changes ?
  9. To get the presents- Is tempting when you see some of the presents your friends are getting to want the same kind of haul for yourself. The attention focused on the bride and groom can be absolutely intoxicating ! But presents get used up and wear out. The spotlight is only on the couple for a few short weeks or months. Marriage is about a lifetime together, not a single party or presents that won’t last.

 

Marriage is possibly the biggest decision most of us will ever make. The consequences of making the wrong choice can have physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial ramifications among others. Marriage when properly crafted is a wonderful, miraculous thing ! Give it the time, thought and prayer that it deserves. It will be worth the effort.

Help Your Marriage or Others During National Marriage Week USA (Feb.7-14)

 

The marriage

Image via Wikipedia

FRONT ROYAL, Va., Jan. 17, 2012 /Christian Newswire/ — National Marriage Week USA (February 7 to 14) is growing fast in just its third year, posting thousands of marriage classes across the nation and building collaborative efforts for one-week-a-year to strengthen marriages, reduce divorce, and increase the marriage rate, which curtails poverty, benefits children, and builds financial stability for our nation and for individuals.

“Rebuilding our economy is tied to rebuilding marriages,” said Sheila Weber, executive director of National Marriage Week USA (www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org).  “Taxpayers spend at least $112 billion a year for divorce and unwed childbearing. Marriage brings vastly more financial stability to individuals,” she continued.

“The economic cost of marriage breakdown is huge — only one example is prisons. Most prisoners come from broken homes or have grown up without a father in their lives. In 2009, California judges ordered the state to release 27 percent of its prisoners due to overcrowding,” Weber continued. “And women and children are more likely to become impoverished through divorce. Research shows that virtually all of the growth in child poverty in the United States since 1970 can be attributed to the nation’s retreat from marriage.”

National Marriage Week USA is part of an international marriage week movement in 16 countries around the world. It seeks to:

  1. elevate strengthening marriage as a national issue with the media and policy makers,
  2. promote the benefits of marriage — longer life, better heath, more wealth and greater happiness
  3. provide a new national clearinghouse of existing, trusted marriage classes and conferences to help couples find help for their own marriages or to help others

New efforts this year include:

  • A 2-hour webcast called “Date Night Challenge,” with Dr. Greg Smalley and comedian Jeff Allan, perfect for home or church gatherings — already 500 churches are registered one month ahead.
  • A Reception in Congress to encourage policy makers about why strengthening marriage is so critical to the economy. Weber asks citizens to encourage your Congressman to RSVP to an email about a January 31st Reception honoring National Marriage Week USA.